If there's one thing I've learnt from giving birth twice now is that no amount of planning or preparation can actually prepare you for your birthing experience. Don't get me wrong, it can definitely help having a birth plan written up and some ideas on what sort of birth you want but sometimes those plans get thrown out the window in style. My 2nd labour and birth story could not have been more different to my first if you tried. I had my birth plan written and I had discussed it with my midwife at my last appointment. I had planned to do some more research and add to it but little Oliver had other ideas.
Tuesday 4th June 2024
I was only 36 weeks, 1 day off 37 weeks and in my eyes, too early to give birth. My little bubba was measuring 6lb the previous week, so in that sense, he would be fine if birthed early. I had a hunch that he was going to come early. I had hoped he'd wait until I went off on maternity leave first and had a few days of rest and to get stuff organised. I also had my Granny's 100th birthday celebrations on the 5th June which I did not want to miss. It's not everyday you see someone in your life turn 100 and this was huge for my family. My last day at work was supposed to be Friday 7th June and I had Wednesday 5th June booked off for my Granny's birthday. I was then due to take two weeks off before Oliver's due date on the 26th June. My birthday is the 29th June so I didn't want him to come too close to my birthday.
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Anyways, on this very normal Tuesday morning, I woke at 6:30am and started getting myself ready for work. I, however had a bloody show (faint blood/discharge) on my pad which I knew to be a sign of labour but that was all I had. I continued with my morning, getting myself ready then getting Isaac sorted for going to his Aunt Vera's house, which was where he went on a Tuesday. I didn't have anything strange or startling going on that didn't feel normal so I didn't really worry myself. I started work at 9am and got stuck into my usual jobs. I did inform my duty manager about my show but it was nothing to worry about. She did think my bump had dropped slightly which is apparently another sign of baby coming sooner rather than later. I generally thought that I was having Braxton hics contractions all day, but they weren't annoying me or causing me a lot of pain, just a bit of discomfort which was manageable. When I was in labour with Isaac, I knew straight away that I was in labour and I struggled with my contractions. I had to use my hypnobirthing breathing techniques to get me through them. I'm guessing being mobile and on my feet all day, helped keep the pain at bay and made my life a little easier.
I finished work at 5pm, joking that I might not see my last shift on Friday. I went home and made a start on dinner and got all of Isaac's tiny baby clothes washed. We only got his baby stuff down from he attic at the weekend and I hadn't anything washed. I did have my hospital bag sort of packed which was something. Before Vera left, she urged me NOT to give birth on the bathroom floor...
Simon arrived home around 6pm and we had dinner. I did a run around, sorting the baby bag out and putting away some washing. At 7pm, we took Isaac for his bath. I was still feeling uncomfortable but again, I was able to cope. I then attempted to get Isaac over to sleep but he was hyper and full of life. He did push my patiences a lot and sitting on the chair in his room was uncomfortable so I had to get Simon to take over. To be fair, the Ikea chair we have in his room is uncomfortable at the best of times. I got myself ready for bed, deciding that if labour was coming, I better try and get some sleep. I used my pregnancy pillow for comfort which I think helped but the *contractions* and being uncomfortable, kept me awake. They still weren't overly strong. Some were very mild. There was no consistency with them and timings were completely off, like there was maybe 10 or 15 minutes between some of them. Simon joined me in bed around 10:30pm and I noticed the discomfort getting stronger. I also had annoying heartburn so took some gaviscon. Sleep was not happening for me at all, annoyingly. Like, I would be close to falling asleep but then I'd get a contraction or discomfort and wake up again.
I think it was nearing midnight when things ramped up. My contractions were getting stronger and harder to deal with. I used my hypnobirthing breathing to help me through each one but still didn't think I was in labour or even the early stages. It was only after one very uncomfortable one, where I needed to be sick that I finally felt that I was in labour. I threw up a few times with Isaac and couldn't keep food down when I was in labour with him. After being sick, I felt like I needed to poop so I sat on the loo. I had so much pressure on my bottom and bottom of my back that was so uncomfortable and made sitting on the toilet, torture. I had learned that the position of sitting on the toilet is really good during labour for getting baby down into optimal position. I stood up and hugged Simon and I had a little cry. I needed to calm myself down but I was freaking out and panicking. You're supposed to keep the adrenaline away as best as possible while in labour and keep the oxytocin in. That's definitely easier said than done, especially if you're a little miss stress head like me. As I hugged Simon I felt this massive *POP* and a small gush of water between my legs. It was a horrible sensation and one I hadn't felt before with Isaac as my waters never actually broke with him. Now, I was feeling the urge to push and I'm not joking. Not to push out the poop I thought I needed, but push. I sat on the toilet again but knew I wasn't pushing out a turd as it felt so different and harder. I stood up to get Simon to have a look. As soon as he looked, he knew something wasn't right. Within minutes he was on the phone to 999 (is that the right number now?). Apparently he could see hair and my bum looked strange. I felt something odd when I wiped too, like something pushing on my perineum. My phone was thrust into my hands to call my sister, Vera. I was now in full panic mode as I begged her to come over to be with Isaac, my voice shaking as I spoke. The operator on the phone got Simon to get me to lie on the bathroom floor which wasn't comfortable in the slightest. Give me lying on my back on a hospital bed over the bathroom floor anyday lol. I was also lying on one of Isaac's bath toys which was under my shoulder. I was lying between the bath and the toilet so not great. I could hear the operator giving Simon instructions. He did eventually give me some cushions for under my back as my poor tail bone was in agony. I could have done with one under my head too. Simon was scarily calm throughout and listened carefully to what he was being told. I was freaking out, trying to do my breathing the best I could. My birth plan had said that I didn't want to birth on my back again but alas, here I was. I'm guessing it's procedure and easier for my non-qualified husband to play midwife when you're in that position. With towels under me, it was time for me to push. I pushed with all my might, using my breathing techniques and what I'd learnt from birthing Isaac. The pain levels didn't even bother me, nor can I remember how painful this all was. I kept pushing and pushing. Simon was definitely better at getting me to push than the midwife last time. Only downside was, the operator kept telling me to push but I knew you are supposed to push on a contraction.
The baby's head came out and I don't think I fully realised or felt a massive amount of pain. I think I remember seeing Oliver's head and the colour he was. I noticed he wasn't crying either and that scared me. I had also woken Isaac up with my screaming and noise and he was crying in his cot. This broke my heart, as neither of us could go near him. I wanted to give my first born hugs and tell him his Mummy is ok. He was completely safe in his cot though. Vera then arrived expecting us to be packed and ready to go to the hospital but instead she found me lying on the bathroom floor and Isaac crying in his room. Once Vera came, she managed to get Isaac calmed down. Knowing Isaac was now ok, helped encourage me more. I continued to push, while Simon followed the operator's instructions. I heard him mention about shoulders being stuck and I freaked out about Simon not being able to get him out or me having a really bad tear. I had an episiotomy with Isaac and that was torture. Vera then entered the bathroom to give me some final words of encouragement for the final few pushes so I grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight as I pushed with all my might. I think I've traumatised her though. There was a weird popping feeling and a gush of fluid and Oliver was born. Vera went back to Isaac to get him sorted while Simon wrapped Oliver in a towel and set him on my tummy while we waited on ambulance crew to arrive. They arrived about 10 minutes later and the women, Kiera sat behind me while the man, Micheal attended to baby Oliver. I was in shock and shaking like mad. My poor legs were like absolute jelly. Baby looked a very bad colour which scared me but he got the ok from Micheal.
The time Michael and Kiera were there seems like a complete blur. I was happy that I got my delayed cord clamping this time without any arguments. Michael cut the cord for us. I still had to birth the placenta so I was having the odd mild contraction. I hated the thought of having to start pushing again. I can't remember how long we stayed in the house before we left. I remember getting my shorts, pants and slippers back on and seeing the blood when I stood up. Simon ran around gathering up a few essentials and got himself dressed. I managed to go and see Isaac before we left and let him see Oliver. I don't think he was too sure but thankfully he didn't know what was going on. I kissed my first born and carefully made my way down the stairs, shaking like crazy. I made it out to the ambulance and laid down on the bed. Oliver had a moment but Michael brought him around. I held him while we were taken to Antrim hospital. I'm very surprised they didn't get us to dress Oliver as he went to the hospital naked. I only realised this afterwards, probably due to the shock. Simon followed us in the car, making sure I had everything I needed. The journey was about 20 or so minutes though I seemed to have lost all concept of time by now. I had a few moments of discomfort going over some bumps or having a mini contraction but I chatted away to Micheal which took my mind off everything for a while.
Simon met us at Antrim and I was taken straight up to the delivery suite who were waiting on us. Oliver was checked straight away and he weighed 6lb 5. I then got the injection to help me with birthing the placenta. That wasn't too bad and I had done the hardest part already. I then got checked over to see if I had any tears. I got some gas and air to help with that. Originally, they thought I only had a small graze but on reading back my notes, I actually had a 2nd degree tear and needed several stitches. This was nowhere near as bad as an episiotomy with stitches. The whole experience felt very chilled. I talked away to the midwife. At one point I had heartburn and got medicine for it but that made me feel nauseous. I did end up throwing it back up though.
I then got brought some tea and toast. Now, I should have been really looking forward to this, especially after having gestational diabetes but I felt a wee bit nauseous. I nibbled on some toast and sipped my tea. After a short while I was able to feed Oliver for the first time. As I wasn't breastfeeding, I hadn't had to do that. The midwives were great at helping with feeding and if I can remember, Simon got to feed him too.
I then was allowed to go for a shower. I gathered my belongings and got taken to the shower room. The delivery suite I was in with Isaac, had a shower attached but I was in a water birth suite and didn't have one. I felt a bit silly walking, holding a pad between my legs with a blanket wrapped around my bottom half. I'm sure the midwifes are used to seeing that though. A shower felt incredible. I quickly dried and dressed in my new PJ's then went back to delivery room.
It was then time for Oliver and I to move to the maternity ward. We gathered up my belongings. I was wheeled over in a wheelchair while Oliver was in an incubator and Simon followed with my bags. Thankfully, I was given a room of my own. Sadly, Simon wasn't allowed on the ward until 11am so he had to leave which I was gutted about. It was about 6am by now so still very early. As Oliver was in an incubator, I did some doom scrolling, waiting to a suitable time to start ringing and messaging people our news. I probably should have tried to get some sleep but I knew I wouldn't sleep.
Our hospital stay
Our hospital stay for the night was a very positive one. I definitely appreciated having a room of our own as I hated being on a ward with 5 other new Mums and their babies after giving birth to Isaac. It was too chaotic for me as an exhausted new Mummy who had spent 18 hours in labour. The midwives were all fantastic this time around and interested in my story. It all felt very relaxed this time around as well and I wasn't anywhere near as uncomfortable. I think I was running on some serious adrenaline. Simon was at home, running around getting stuff sorted, like cleaning the car seat and cot and nipping to the shops to get stuff we didn't have. We were so unprepared. We wouldn't have had nappies if I hadn't of got Vera to pick some up. The food in the hospital was alright, nothing amazing. I had a chicken salad for lunch and ratatouille for dinner. They forgot my chips at dinner though. It was great being able to eat what I want without worrying about checking my blood sugars. In saying that, my appetite was nonexistent and I wasn't really craving anything in particular. The midwives came in regularly and helped with the feeding. I felt like a first time mum again as I needed to ask how to change a nappy and feed and burp Oliver, despite having a 20 month old at home. It all felt very strange. In between feeding Oliver, I managed to get a little bit of sleep which was good. I also rang work to let them know the good news and informed the family. Oliver was in the incubator for most of the day due to low body temperature (I think). There was actually a television in my room which I had no interest in watching it.
Simon couldn't stay at the hospital all day as he had to go and pick Isaac up from the childminder at 5pm. He took Isaac over to Vera's house after dinner, then came back up to the hospital again. Isaac was going to my Granny's 100th birthday party, which I was gutted I was missing. My memory of that evening is a bit hazy. That evening after Simon left, I got Oliver fed and settled then tried to get some much needed sleep. I managed to sleep in-between Oliver's feeds and got a few hours. The midwives on the night shift were brilliant too. One of them in particular stayed for ages just talking to me.
Home time - Thursday 6th June 2024
I was very excited for breakfast to arrive the following morning. I was now a fully fledged coffee drinker so had that instead of tea, some toast with jam and a bowl of rice krispies. I managed to get a shower while the midwives did some final checks on Oliver. Oliver and I got to go home after lunch time. I enjoyed a baked potato for lunch. I was very nervous about going home, away from the security of the midwives who were there if you needed everything. I was worried about Isaac too and how he would react to his new baby brother. How was I going to cope with 2 under 2? People kept telling me how difficult it was going to be and were quite negative about it. As soon as I got home, I rushed around putting on a load of washing and tidying the kitchen before Isaac got home. I felt like I was playing a bit of catch up. Two days before Isaac was born, Simon and I had done a deep clean of the house, but we didn't get the chance to do that before Oliver arrived. It was on my "to do" list that never actually got done thanks to Oliver coming early.
It took a very long time for Oliver's birth to sink in as it was such a shock. It all still seems very surreal. It definitely took a long time to process it all. I'm very thankful that Oliver arrived safely and that both of us hadn't any major problems. Simon did a fantastic job of bringing him into the world and keeping me calm in the process. People often make jokes about birthing on the bathroom floor and I never in a million years, expected it to actually happen to me. I was so scared and worried about birthing in hospital that I was actually glad I had a very quick *labour* and birth at home, even if it was unintended. People kept asking me about how I dealt with the pain and honestly? I can't remember how painful it was, the same as Isaac's birth. Maybe I've blocked out those memories, but it's not like I had any choice in the matter. It's not like we keep an epidural in the medicine box lol.
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