If there's one thing I've learnt from giving birth twice now is that no amount of planning or preparation can actually prepare you for your birthing experience. Don't get me wrong, it can definitely help having a birth plan written up and some ideas on what sort of birth you want but sometimes those plans get thrown out the window in style. My 2nd labour and birth story could not have been more different to my first if you tried. I had my birth plan written and it was discussed with my midwife at my last appointment. I had planned to do some research and add to it but little Oliver had other ideas.
Tuesday 4th June 2024
I was only 36 weeks, 1 day off 37 weeks and in my eyes, too early to give birth. Baby was measuring 6lb the previous week so in that sense, he would be fine if birthed early. I knew he was coming early but I had hoped he'd wait until I went off on maternity leave first and had a few days of rest and to get stuff organised. I also had my Granny's 100th birthday celebrations on the 5th June which I did not want to miss. It's not everyday you see someone in your life turn 100 and this was huge for my family.
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Anyways, on this very normal Tuesday morning, I woke at 6:30am and started getting myself ready for work. I, however had a bloody show on my pad which I knew to be a sign of labour but that was all I had. I continued with my morning, getting myself ready then getting Isaac sorted for going to his Aunt Vera's house. I didn't have anything strange or startling going on that didn't feel normal so I didn't really worry myself. I started work at 9am and got stuck into my jobs. I did pre-warn my duty manager about my show but it was nothing to worry about. I generally thought that I was having Braxton hics contractions all day but they weren't annoying me or causing me a lot of pain, just a bit of discomfort. When I was in labour with Isaac, I struggled with my contractions and had to use my hypnobirthing breathing to get me through them. I'm guessing being mobile and on my feet all day, helped keep the pain at bay and make my life a little easier.
I finished work at 5pm, joking that I might not see my last shift on Friday. I went home and made a start on dinner and got all of Isaac's tiny baby clothes washed. We only got his baby stuff down from he attic at the weekend and I hadn't anything washed. Before Vera left, she urged me NOT to give birth on the bathroom floor...
Simon arrived home around 6pm and we had dinner. I did a run around, sorting the baby bag out and putting away some washing. At 7pm, we took Isaac for his bath. I was still feeling uncomfortable but again, I was able to cope. I then attempted to get Isaac over to sleep but he was hyper and full of life. He did push my patiences a lot and sitting on the chair in his room was uncomfortable so I had to get Simon to take over. I got myself ready for bed, deciding that if labour was coming, I better try and get some sleep. I used my pregnancy pillow for comfort which I think helped but the *contractions* kept me awake. They still weren't overly strong. Some were very mild. There was no consistency with them and timings was completely off. Simon joined me in bed around 10:30pm and I noticed the discomfort getting stronger. I also had annoying heartburn so took some gaviscon. Sleep was not happening for me at all, annoyingly.
I think it was nearing midnight when things ramped up. My contractions were getting stronger and harder to deal with. I used my hypnobirthing breathing to help me through each one but still didn't think I was in labour or even the early stages. It was only after one very uncomfortable one, where I needed to be sick that I finally felt I was in labour. I threw up a few times with Isaac and couldn't keep food down. After being sick, I felt like I needed to poop so I sat on the loo. I had so much pressure on my bottom and bottom of my back that was so uncomfortable and made sitting on the toilet, torture. I stood up and cleaned then hugged Simon as I had a little cry. I needed to calm myself down but I was freaking out and panicking. You're supposed to keep the adrenaline away when trying to birth and keep the oxytocin in. That's easier said than done, especially if you're little miss stress head like me. As I hugged Simon I felt this massive *POP* and a small gush of water between my legs. It was a horrible sensation and one I hadn't felt before with Isaac as my waters never actually broke with him. Now, I was feeling the urge to push and I'm not joking. Not to push out the poop I thought I needed, but push. I sat on the toilet but knew I wasn't pushing out a turd as it felt so different and harder. I stood up to get Simon to have a look. As soon as he looked, he knew something wasn't right. Within minutes he was on the phone to 999 (is that the right number now?). Apparently he could see hair and my bum looked strange. I felt something odd when I wiped too, like something pushing on my perineum. My phone was thrust into my hands to call my sister, Vera. I was now in full panic mode as I begged her to come over to be with Isaac. The operator on the phone got Simon to lie me on the bathroom floor which wasn't comfortable in the slightest. Give me lying on my back on a hospital bed over the bathroom floor anyday lol. I was also lying on one of Isaac's bath toys which was under my shoulder. I was lying between the bath and the toilet so not great. I could hear the operator giving Simon instructions. He did eventually give me some cushions for under my back as my poor tail bone was in agony. I could have done with one under my head too. Simon was scarily calm throughout and listened carefully to what he was being told. I was freaking out, trying to do my breathing the best I could. My birth plan had said that I didn't want to birth on my back again but alas, here I was. I'm guessing it's procedure and easier for a none qualified husband to play midwife when you're in that position. With towels under me, it was time for me to push. I pushed with all my night, using my breathing techniques and what I'd learnt from birthing Isaac. The pain levels didn't even bother me, nor can I remember how painful this all was. I kept pushing and pushing. Simon was definitely better at getting me to push than the midwife last time.
The head came out and I don't think I fully realised or felt a massive amount of pain. I think I remember seeing Oliver's head and the colour he was. I noticed he wasn't crying either and that scared me. I had also woken Isaac up with my screaming and noise and he was crying in his cot. This broke my heart, as neither of us could go near him. I wanted to give my first born hugs and tell him his Mummy is ok. He was completely safe in his cot though. Once Vera came, she managed to get him calmed down. Knowing Isaac was now ok, helped encourage me more. I continued to push, while Simon followed the operator's instructions. I heard him mention about shoulders being stuck and I freaked out about having a really bad tear. I had an episiotomy with Isaac and that was torture. Vera then entered the bathroom to give me some final words of encouragement for the final few pushes so I grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight as I pushed with all my night. There was a weird popping feeling and a gush of fluid and Oliver was born. Vera went back to Isaac to get him sorted while Simon wrapped Oliver in a towel and set him on my tummy while we waited on ambulance crew to arrive. They arrived about 10 minutes later and the women, Kiera sat behind me while the man, Micheal attended to baby. I was in shock and shaking like mad. My poor legs were like absolute jelly. Baby looked a very bad colour which scared me but he got the ok from Micheal.
The time Michael and Kiera were there seems like a blur. I was happy that I got my delayed cord clamping this time without any arguments. Michael cut the cord for us. I still had to birth the placenta so I was having the odd mild contraction. I hated the thought of having to start pushing again. I can't remember how long we stayed in the house before we left. I remember getting my shorts, pants and slippers back on and seeing the blood when I stood up. I managed to go and see Isaac before we left and let him see Oliver. I don't think he was too sure. I kissed my first born and carefully made my way down the stairs, shaking like crazy. I made it out to the ambulance and laid down on the bed. Oliver had a moment but Michael brought him around. I held him while we were taken to Antrim hospital. Im very surprised they didn't get us to dress Oliver as he went to hospital naked. I only realised this afterwards. Simon followed us in the car, making sure I had everything I needed. The journey was about 20 or so minutes though I seemed to have lost all concept of time by now. I had a few moments of discomfort going over some bumps or having a mini contraction but I chatted away to Micheal.
Simon met us at Antrim and I was taken straight up to the delivery suite who were waiting on us. Baby was checked straight away and he weighted 6lb 5. I then got the injection to help me with birthing the placenta. That wasn't too bad and I had done the hardest part already. I then got checked over to see if I had any tears. I got some gas and air to help with that. Originally, they thought I only had a small graze but on reading back my notes, I actually had a 2nd degree tear and needed several stitches. This was nowhere near as bad as an episiotomy with stitches. The whole experience felt very chilled. I talked away to the midwife. At one point I had heartburn and got medicine for it but that made me feel nauseous. I did end up throwing it back up though.
I then got brought some tea and toast. Now, I should have been really looking forward to this, especially after having gestational diabetes but I felt a wee bit nauseous. I nibbled on some toast and sipped my tea. After a short while I was able to feed Oliver for the first time. As I wasn't breastfeeding, I hadn't had to do that. The midwives were great at helping with feeding and if I can remember, Simon got to feed him too.
I then was allowed to go for a shower. I gathered my belongings and got taken to the shower room. The delivery suite I was in with Isaac, had a shower attached but I was in a water birth suite and didn't have one. I felt a bit silly walking, holding a pad between my legs with a blanket wrapped around my bottom half. I'm sure the midwifes are used to seeing that though. A shower felt incredible. I quickly dried and dressed in my new PJ's then went back to delivery room.
It was then time for Oliver and I to move to the maternity ward. We gathered up my belongings. I was wheeled over in a wheelchair while Oliver was in an incubator and Simon followed with my bags. Thankfully, I was given a room of my own. Sadly, Simon wasn't allowed on the ward until 11am so he had to leave which I was gutted about. It was about 6am by now so still very early. As Oliver was in an incubator, I did some doom scrolling, waiting to a suitable time to start ringing and messaging people our news.
Our hospital stay
Our hospital stay for the night was a very positive one. Having a room of our own, definitely helped so much. The midwifes were all fantastic this time around and interested in my story. It all felt very relaxed this time around and I wasn't anywhere near as uncomfortable. I think I was running on some serious adrenaline. Simon was at home, running around getting stuff sorted, like cleaning the car seat and cot and nipping to the shops to get stuff we didn't have. We were so unprepared. We wouldn't have had nappies if I hadn't of got Vera to pick some up. The food in the hospital was alright. I had a chicken salad for lunch and ratatouille for dinner. They forgot my chips at dinner though. It was great being able to eat what I want without worrying about my blood sugars. In saying that, my appetite was none existent. The midwifes came in regularly and helped with feeding. I felt like a first time mum again and needed to ask how to change a nappy and feed and burp Oliver. He was in the incubator for most of the day.
Simon couldn't stay all day as he had go and pick Isaac up from the childminder at 5pm. I think he took Isaac over to Vera's house and came back up again. My memory of that evening is a bit hazy. That evening after Simon left, I got Oliver fed and settled then tried to get some much needed sleep. I managed to sleep in-between Oliver's feeds and got a few hours.
Oliver and I got to go home after lunch the following day. I grabbed a shower when they took Oliver out to do some checks on him and enjoyed a baked potato for lunch. I was very nervous about going home, away from the security of the midwifes who were there if you needed everything. I was worried about Isaac too and how he would react to his baby brother. How was I going to cope with 2 under 2? People kept telling me how difficult it was going to be and have been quite negative about it.
I don't think it's sunk in yet about what has happened. It all seems very surreal. I don't think I've had time to process everything yet (8 days later as I write this). I'm very thankful that Oliver arrived safely and that both of us hadn't any major problems. Simon did a fantastic job of bringing him into the world and keeping me calm in the process. People often make jokes about birthing on the bathroom floor and I never in a million years, expected it to actually happen to me. I was so scared and worried about birthing in hospital that I was actually glad I had a very quick *labour* and birth at home, even if it was unintended.
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